Loose dogs. They'll sink your ship.

Its a strange society, when one is compelled to walk one's dog with accoutrements of weaponry: pepper spray, a baseball bat, a large stick, a loaded gun, a recorded recitation of the dog ordinance. All of the above.

My ideal dog walking tackle is: a fire extinguisher...this can solve countless problems...(let your imagination roam); a loaded (& permitted) gun...; pepper spray...& my bag pipes. Just kidding. On my walks I encounter 2 distinct types of hominids, they are listed below in order of intellectual development.

THE UNWITTING SOUL: This is the person of a conscientious nature (likely from another country) (& century). This person muzzles their dog when walking on-lead (& off of their property). They do this because in fact, no one can vouch for the actions of their dog 100% of the time. No one. And this dog person recognises reality & respects all human life! However, how does the muzzled dog defend herself when attacked by the loose dogs which populate every neighourhood under the sun (& rain)...(despite leash laws which were developed by majority vote)? She doesn't. She'll be ripped to shreds. Right in front of you, her owner...& any other unfortunate witnesses. And because animals are considered "property"...the "owner" of the dog will receive compensatory damages associated with the purchase price of their dog &/or vet bills associated with the attack. But, there will be no sentimental damages or emotional duress damages associated with a judgment. Nope, not unless one hires Gerry Spence.

THE RIGHTEOUS MIND-READER: This self-proclaimed "Dog Whisperer" will actually address on-coming walkers in 3rd-person/dog "Oohh...I wanna play! I do tricks! I'm not aggressive! Wow! Whoa! I'm a little agitated! Oooh don;t look at me like that!" Then said dog will drag his person across the street with hackles up & attack. The Whisperer then shouts:

"Oh...wow...he has NEVER done THAT before...your dog must have challenged him...who is your vet? Please don't report this. Bailey is special-needs. He is a rescue. He was a very rare breeding & show dog & came from a puppy mill".... & etc...etc...

If we muzzled every dog that left it's property under the custody of a human being...we would not have dog bites, I guess this is too reasonable a thing to bring forth as an ordinance.

If we muzzled every human that left it's property under the custody of a dog...oh damn. I guess this is too reasonable a thing to bring forth as an ordinance.