How to Sicken (or worse) Like a Rockstar...

None of us really want to kick the bucket but...we will. It's not dying that frightens ME....nor suffering...its my dogs & their well-being that concerns me most! My kids will fight over the Saddleback Leather & that will be that...but, my dogs...oh boy.

So, let's fantasize that a pandemic rears its ugly head.  Oh wait. 

Let's envision that you become acutely ill. You land in ICU. Your dogs just thought you were going in for a Corona test....all the rest is a blur...

While you're comatose, who is in charge of your quadrupeds? Do you have a 2-month supply of food stashed? Have you left feeding instructions on a laminated piece of paper  & then placed it in a clearly marked 3-ring binder on your counter-top? All veterinary info pertaining to your dogs should be laminated and 3-ring bindered too...& the insurance policy info (you know, the one you bought with your dogs well-being in mind just in case you kick it)??? No? You didn't do that? OK, never fear, there's still time & thus,  hope.
 
You might do well to "get on it" as they say...if you don't like my 2-month-food -supply concept...just have yourself on auto-ship...Evermore, Petflow & Idahound have very flexible schedules for their shippery of healthy cooked, raw & commercial goods. Petflow is a full-service dog supply...so, you can order toys, treats, blankets, heart worm medication, flea treatments...you name it...they also donate a ton of foodstuffs to needy dogs every single time that you make a purchase with them (which is one of the two reasons why I solely engage with Petflow & not Chewy). *Be certain that your designated caretaker has your log-in & card info*

If you dislike the auto-ship concept, there is always the gift card concept...whatever your concept, let it not be: the non-concept. Your pet's designated au pair is going to have enough on his/her plate. In fact, I advise procuring them the best bottle of tequila that can be had, the very moment that they agree to be your dog's nanny! That way, the deal is sealed & they'll have tranquillity-in-a-bottle for later, when they need it. Because, no matter how great your dogs are, there's a good chance, that they might, at some point, be deemed as complete assholes by your new designated caretaker.

Fluffy & Buck need you to detail their habits, quirks, deets, tiks etc.. For instance, Safir (he would kill me if he knew I was writing this) will unleash a diarrheic tidal wave on expensive rugs only (you know...your authenticated William Morris museum piece from 1890-that one), if fed more than one NZ green mussel per day; Perfidia must eat out of her stainless bowl at Safir's right side...(not the left) or all living hell will break loose; Safir, Hindrance & Perfidia must have their dishes cleaned after every feeding; Hindrance must eat alone in her crate; Hindrance does "stiff-dog" if you touch her while she's eating; Safir opens any packages that are brought in, as he is ever-optimistic & believes they are his; Safir, Perfidia & Hindrance HATE bicyclists; Safir, Hindrance & Perfidia LOVE Dairy Queen kid cones; Safir gets violently carsick; Perfidia has the red rain blanket, Safir's is teal...& as usual, the Sylvia Plath of my group (Hindrance) won't wear a blanket when it's raining; then, attach these things to your laminated counter-top 3-ring binder. The insurance policy will be grand, absolutely grand if you croak. But, your designated caretaker needs to know about it!  Please have a lengthy conversation with your ideal pet caretaker. Have them in your directive, in your phone, in your wallet, on your desk & as a known fact. Don't assume! Don't surprise! Don't wait before its too late. A caretaker deemed as such without their knowledge &/or consent may really end up being compromised. They also have absolutely ZERO authority to act on your dog's behalf in terms of veterinary care etc. Another nightmarish scenario is that of having someone completely unqualified undertaking the care of your animals...you don't want that.

Imagine your dogs in foster or rescue. You don't want that.

What do you want? The time is nigh for detailing your will on every level. 

But, what if you don't bite the big one?!! What if your dogs just need long-term care while Mama recovers? Will this doggy babysitting be in your home? In your bestie's home? At a resort in Sedona? A lodge in Banff? At your chateau in Aix en Provence? How much loot have you set aside for this fiasco? Please don't tell me you're shooting for a Go-Fund-Me. So gauche.

I'd recommend having several dog tags made with your potential caretaker's telephone number & email address on them. Affix these to the 3-ring binder you're now using for this whole enterprise. & then, if something terrible happens, your pet's ID tags can be switched out, just like that. I affix mine to collars and leashes (on the handle of the leash) (because no one, if my dogs get loose will be able to get close enough to their heads) *as an aside, I always use heavy duty attachment clasps...like those found on key fob rings...* Red Dingo makes the best tags...

Have leashes, collars, everything at the ready. Boxed, labeled. The whole shabang.

Get it all worked out before decisions are made on your behalf. Before you're in a bowl-cut & breathing via a respirator. Your dogs will high-five you for it.

The greatest thing?! If this whole thing is unnecessary, YOU WIN!!!!! Nothing is lost! Any unwanted supply overage can be donated to the overworked, overwhelmed rescue agencies.

Be well!!!! XOXO

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